Friends? Are they real?

I've been crying alot lately. Where are all my friends? I used to have a bunch of best friend when I was primary school. But it ended due to some misunderstanding and I didn't stand up for myself. I scared that no one would believe me. Because of my weakness, it ended off just like that when I started secondary one. I'm always the follower, not the leader. I'm always the weakess among all and that I admit. Even when I was in secondary school, friends turn away when I'm in trouble. Maybe at that point of time, there isn't any serious problem to see throught this relationship. Now, almost turning 21, I asked myself? Who is there for me when I need care and concern? Who will cares for me? Who will text me asking how am I? Who will ask me for a meetup? I'm sad to say, lesser and lesser. Meetup used to be an enjoyable sessions where we gossip and talk and laugh anything under the sun. Now, going toward different view in our lifes. Are we still the same? We used to share different opinion, We used to decided on a common place to hangout. But now, you all choose the place that you want and places that I go, there's only crticising. What I do, you all object and show deeply ur dislikeness. But those are the thing I loved to do, thts my passion. How much I wish you all will be here when I fight. But, straight answer of NO, hurts my heart. I always appreciate thing that you guys do, I nv critise the path that u choose, the person that you choose to spent for the rest of ur life. So why are you critising the one I love? No one appreciate me anymore. It hurts when I think of the days when we used to sing the song 老婆 by SHE. Everytime we meetup, I will get sad. Got blame for the choice made which you don't like It's either somethig bad bout my lovelife or it the conflict in interest. I always tried my best to make things work. If my friends not there to support me. Den who will?

1:42 AM ·